Carried Through the Darkness with Kaylin

In this powerful episode of The Spark Show, Kaylin shares her testimony of walking through some of the darkest moments of her life—rejection, heartbreak, betrayal from close friends, depression, and suicidal thoughts. But through it all, Jesus never left her.

What could have destroyed her became a testimony of God’s faithfulness, healing, and redemption. Kaylin opens up about the pain she faced, how Christ carried her through it, and the hope she found on the other side.

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt rejected, overwhelmed, broken, or alone. Kaylin’s story is a reminder that even in the darkest valley, God is still present, still faithful, and still able to restore.

A special thank you to the Best Home Ever Team for sponsoring Spark. To learn more or get involved, text or call Maria at (561) 779-9452.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Welcome back to the Spark Show, where we share real stories of faith, healing, and the power of God in the middle of real life. Today's episode is a deeply powerful and heartfelt conversation with my friend Kaylin. She's here to share her testimony of walking through some of the darkest seasons of her life. Rejection, betrayal from close friends, depression, and even thoughts of suicide. But this is not just a story of pain, it's a story of redemption. Through every heartbreak, every heavy moment, and every battle she faced, Christ carried her. And what the enemy meant for destruction, God has turned into a testimony of hope, healing, and survival. If you have ever felt abandoned, broken, unseen, or like you are barely holding on, this conversation is for you. Caitlin's story is a reminder that even in the darkest valley, Jesus is still there, faithful, near, and able to restore. So wherever you are today, lean in and listen with an open heart. This is a powerful episode, and I believe it's going to encourage someone deeply. Welcome to the Spark Show, Kaylin. Hi, how are you? So good. Thanks for being here. Yes. So walk us through it. Um, do you want to start with your beginning or start with the season you just went through?

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Um, so I would probably just say kind of what we've been talking about. I was raised in a Christian home and have grown up in faith, and just always kind of felt like I didn't have necessarily a huge struggle in life of a testimony of like, oh, I almost died and Jesus saved me. Like, you know, it's just I didn't think I had anything exciting to tell people about that. Um, but I would definitely say the last two to three years I've had some of the hardest struggles and days of my life, and I made it through. So that's just kind of where I'm at now, and just trying to stay strong in my faith and surround myself with people who are doing the same thing. Because that's I think key to you know living a faithful life is just being around people who can encourage you and not um judge you or bring you down or like just not understand what you're going through. Yeah. Um, so that's a huge, a huge part of I think healing and moving forward in life. Totally. So, how did depression begin to affect your everyday life? Um, well, it was really just presented, I would say, like, as an anxiety um in the beginning, just thinking like everyone was out to get me, or if I didn't answer a certain way, or they didn't answer a certain way, they were everyone was mad at me, or they didn't like me. And I I would like to think I'm a very very likable person. Um, so it's just like this doubt that I had in my mind that I wasn't good enough, or I was doing too much, or not enough, and that just began to like overwhelm me, and like those negative thoughts in my head began to say, like, well, you're not you're too much, or whatever, you're not there's no purpose for you here. Like, people are annoyed with you, or people don't need you around, like, there's plenty of people who could replace you in friendships or jobs or wherever you're at, and I started to believe that.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

Was there a moment when you realized I am not okay?

SPEAKER_00 3:59

Um, yes. I called my friend um one night, and I was like, I don't think I should be alone. Like, I'm having very bad thoughts, and I just don't think it's safe to be by myself right now. Somebody take the gun out of my hand.

unknown 4:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Oh, and what what did she do? Um, so I ended up like calling my therapist and talking it through, and you know, just seeking the help that I needed. Um, and like I did what I was needed for me. Some people did not understand that, unfortunately. But um, you know, sometimes you just gotta do the hard thing and and do what's best for you, so that's what I did.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

Yeah, and I know you mentioned that you wound up in the hospital for a few days. How did that come about?

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Um, just felt that was the best option at the time. Um, I think a big thing for mental health in general is that people don't take it seriously or they like just think you're crazy or whatever, but sometimes you just need, you know, if you had a heart attack, you'd go to the hospital, they'd give you medication to heal your heart, help your heart to function properly. So it's the same thing with mental health, you know. Sometimes you need uh medicine to help you reset and like think logically. Um, obviously that depression does not allow that, so I needed that time to be able to find some, you know, uh medical care and it helped, and it was not certainly not a fun experience I would not recommend.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

But um it was what I needed. So how did God begin restoring your mind, heart, and identity?

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Um, well, something I actually just remembered when we were talking about this is that while I was in the hospital, I mean I'm open about my faith and you know, bold, but whatever it was came over me that I was like, I need to tell all of these people in the hospital about Jesus because maybe that's why I'm here. Like, I didn't have hope, but I do know I have hope in Jesus, and these people don't even know about that. Like, so I started to um I just like got my Bible out and was like, so I know you know this verse and that verse, and I'd love to tell you about this. And um they probably thought I was extra crazy, but you know, we're we're all a little bit crazy. Yeah, I wouldn't be crazy for Jesus than crazy for anything else.

unknown 6:50

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 6:51

Um so anyway, it just like that kind of even just being there and like having that experience and realizing like I was so much better off than a lot of people that were there. You know, mentally and medically, like a lot of those people had just gone through things that you could never imagine, or people were like really literally thought that the world was out to get them and were afraid to go out into the world because someone was like trying to kill them, is what they were thinking. So, you know, it just kind of as far as my identity, I knew like, okay, this is not me, this is not where I want to be. I want to, you know, be thriving and the happy, you know, fun Kalen that I used to be. And so I think that kind of just kind of led me on a path of kind of just like self-healing, and I don't mean that like within myself, obviously, within you know, Jesus and faith and everything, and because I think alone there's we have no power. Um but Jesus within us can can heal and and hopefully use that testimony to help others heal as well. Amen.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

What has forgiveness looked like in your journey? Hmm, still learning that every day, I would say. I preached sister. How did God heal the rejection and betrayal you experienced?

SPEAKER_00 8:24

I would say that's another one I'm still working on. It's it's trying to all right, all right. Let's back up.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Okay, because we we really brushed over it. In fact, you didn't even bring it up. So um, you experienced a tremendous amount of rejection and betrayal from your like BFFs. And I know we don't want to gossip about them and we want to protect their identities, but like when it was completely unlike you did not deserve that. So, what was that like for you to walk through that just total rejection? It was like a Jesus with a Judas thing, right? But you were just sold for nothing, not even money, you were just sold for nothing. Like, what what was that like, and how did you lean on Jesus during that time?

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Well, I think I just had to like remember that God had given me the gifts of you know loving and giving, and you know I needed to be around, like I said, around people who encourage that, and um I do feel a lot of the times when I go through conflict, I have a sense that it's a lot more than just an argument, it's a spiritual warfare, and I think a lot of that was going on in relationships, you know, in multiple different areas of my life that there was just a spiritual, you know, battle between myself and and others involved, and you know, it's just it's not within our own power that we can get through that, so it was hard.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Yeah. So what would you say to the person listening right now who feels rejected and alone?

SPEAKER_00 10:09

Well, the ultimate love is Jesus, he would never reject you, you know. You always have him and the Holy Spirit within you, and you can never, you know, you aren't alone. You're never alone. You um He created us to be in community as well. So if you feel that you are rejected and alone, I think it's important to find a good community and surround yourself with people who will encourage you and love you and enjoy the gifts that God gave you. Yeah, celebrate you, not tolerate you.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Right. What would you say to someone who is battling depression in silence?

SPEAKER_00 10:48

I would say don't do it in silence, you know. It's like there's such a stigma around it, but like I said, if you had a broken arm, you'd go to the ER. If you had a heart attack, you'd go to the hospital. Like every medical condition needs treatment, and there's no reason to be quiet or embarrassed about it. You know, it's not something that you ask for, but it's certainly not something you should do on your own either.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

What would you say to someone who is having suicidal thoughts and feels like there's no way out?

SPEAKER_00 11:25

I would say just sleep on it. I know that might sound silly, but take another one more day. Like there's a there's an organization called Stay Another Day, and it's basically like let's take a little time and think about this, think through, because you know, you stay another day, and no, it's not not as bad as I thought. Then, you know, it can always get better. That's beautiful. What do you want people to know about Jesus through your story? Um, I just hope they see like his love through me, and that you can be at the bottom of the pit of despair and still survive it and come out and live and thrive and be happy, and it is possible. Like that's something that you have to you have to focus on is that it is yeah possible to come out.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

I love that. If someone feels like they are in the darkest chapter of their life, what encouragement would you leave them with?

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Um find a church, get involved in church, listen to worship music and read your Bible.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

Those are the best things you could probably do.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

I love that. If you can go back and speak to the version of yourself who is in the deepest pain, what would you say?

SPEAKER_00 12:49

I would say don't trust everything your brain tells you because it's not true. Run your thoughts through the Bible. If the Bible doesn't say it's true, then it's not true.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

So how can people pray for you in this season?

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Um, I would say just that I would be able to continue to build a community and be able to encourage the people around me and maybe use my story for um to be able to encourage someone else.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

And speaking of um community, you and I had a conversation earlier about not throwing your pearls before swine because I've noticed that you are around a lot of people who are more tolerating you and not celebrating you, and it's really important to be around people who are celebrating you. And literally this morning I recorded a video about what I look for in a friend, and the first thing is to be completely generous, like we have to compete with each other to like be more outgenerous each other, like be so generous and just be so loving toward each other that it's almost like a competition. Who can love each other more? And then the second thing I look for in a friend is um for them to be able to on the spot pray for me or pray over another friend. And um, if you're not a prayer warrior, you need to get with the program quick. And um, you didn't know this, but like you were invited today at 5 30 p.m. to partake in such a ronden rendezvous. We went to a neighbor's house, um, seven of us ladies, and we prayed for a neighbor who hasn't walked in three months. She has pots and she's been bedridden for three whole months in total pain. And all seven of us, we were each holding like a different gift. One was holding fresh sourdough and wine to do communion. Another friend was holding uh prayer worship flags to wave while we worshipped. Another friend was holding the uh holy oil from Jerusalem for anointing, the king's oil. Another friend was holding the Bible, the word of God, another friend was holding the talit, which is the key of David, that's the prayer shawl that uh you wear. And another friend was holding the shofar, and you blow that, so we pointed it right at the pain on her back, and we blew that trumpet. And um it was just such a beautiful gathering, and all seven of the women are so encouraging, so generous, so loving, and um, I'm just so happy that we got you connected with women who are going to encourage, uplift, support, love on, and you know, out outgenerous you.

unknown 15:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

So what would you say to the person who just feels like they're being tolerated and not celebrated? And how how can someone find real friends?

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Um, well, I think like you said, you you don't want to if you're too much for someone, you're you're not gonna be too much for someone else. Like you just have to find your people and and don't I don't know, don't discount yourself. You're valuable. Don't don't put yourself on sale, you know? I am not discount, I am luxury. No, that sounds silly, but it's just you know, value put value on on yourself and know that you're worth good friendships and um having good people in your life.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

Because remember, a original is always worth more than a copy. True. So be yourself. The real people are gonna love the original you. So thank you so much, Caitlin, for being here today and for sharing your heart so honestly. Yeah. Your story is powerful, and I know it's gonna touch so many people. What the enemy meant for evil, God has truly turned for good, and your testimony is such a beautiful reminder that even in the darkest places, Jesus is still present, still faithful, and still able to rescue. I know this conversation is going to encourage the person who feels unseen, rejected, betrayed, overwhelmed, or like they are barely holding on. Caelan's story reminds us that no pit is too deep, no wound is too broken, and no life is too far gone for the love and redemption of Christ. If you're listening today and you've been walking through depression, hopelessness, or deep pain, I just want to remind you that you are not alone. God sees you, He loves you, and your story is not over. There is hope, there is healing, and there is still purpose for your life. Caitlin, thank you again for your courage, your vulnerability, and your willingness to let God use your story to bring light to others. And to everyone listening, thank you for joining us for this episode of the Spark Show. If this conversation encouraged you, share it with someone who may need hope today. We pray this episode reminded you that even after the darkest night, God can still ignite a spark. We'll see you next time on the spark show. Bye.